Thursday, July 9, 2009

Almost got a first kiss

This little story happened when my friendship with the girl, MF, was going well, it was recovering after one of our many fall outs (most of the time she would get annoyed with me but those stories are for later). We decided that we both needed to get in better shape and more flexible so we would get together to stretch and just motivate each other. We met up and were just stretching and talking in a room where we were by ourselves. It was just small chat, nothing really special, if I remember correctly, it was about a book she was reading. Then, there was a slight pause, not a super long awkward one, just a noticeable pause before she asked, "Have you ever kissed anyone?" I was thinking, "Wow, where did that question come from?"

I am thinking if I should answer the question honestly since well, I never did kiss anyone or if I should try and be cool and say yes I did. I decide to be a loser and said, "Nope, I never have." She said, "Wow, really?" I said, "Yeah, I told you I never dated anyone." She says, "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you never kissed anyone." I said, "I'm 22 and I'm still waiting for my first kiss, that's kind of sad." She replies, "Actually, it's kind of cute." I asked if she kissed anyone and she said yeah, a few, I can't remember how many, maybe three. Then there is another noticeable pause before she says, "Would you like me to give you your first kiss?"

I sit there thinking, "Wait... did I just hear that right? The girl I am crazy about that knows I like her, but told me she doesn't like me, just offered to give me a kiss. This can't be happening..." So I am sitting there not too sure what to say since who even offers a kiss to someone they don't like? I would think no girl would, especially when she knows the guy likes or liked her and she doesn't like the guy. I really wanted to say yes since well, I was waiting for the chance to kiss her ever since I met her, but, it just didn't feel right. I said, "I'll think about it." She then said, "No, it's too late." I said, "What? Was there a time limit?" So after some joking around, she starts to say it's no big deal that I never kissed anyone and I was like yeah... whatever... so we go back to small talk, but kind of awkward small talk since we just talked about kissing each other.

Well, we are getting ready to leave and I am putting stuff away in my locker when she says, "If you really want me to give you a kiss, I can, it's nothing big, just a peck." I said, "No, it's fine." She says, "No, really, I can, seriously, if you really think it's such a big deal that you haven't kissed anyone before." I say it's really okay and she was like sure, okay.

It's been a little more than a year since then and I still haven't kissed anyone. I also still regret not taking that chance to kiss her.

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